5 Fun Easy Steps to decline a Pre-approved credit card offer

Ok this is the best way I think there is to get back at creditors. I have been doing it for a long time and I actually get some amusement with this.

If and when you ever receive one of those pre-approved credit card offers where all you have to do is fill it out and put it in the self addressed envelope, just do this.

1. Open it (duh)
2. Carefully set aside the self address envelope (you need this in a minute)
3. Tare or shred the rest of the contents of the envelope.
4. Place all the destroyed items inside the convenient self addressed envelope they provided that you set aside.
5. Drop it in the mail to go back to the credit card company.
(optional - put your return address)

The Greatest Story Ever Told

It was a nice spring afternoon and these two guys, Owen and Mark, decided it would be fun to eat some mushrooms and wander around in the woods near their house. They walked around for awhile and when dusk hit they decided to head back home. On the way back they ran into a troll. Yes a troll. A living, breathing troll. They tried to talk to the troll but they couldn't understand anything it said. Nonetheless they befriended the troll and decided to bring it home.

They get home with the troll and gave it a pb&j, chunky style peanut butter, and made a bed for it to sleep on in the a spare room. The troll went to sleep and they continued on with their evening of drug induced entertainment. When they woke up the next day they began talking about what a crazy hallucination the troll had been and decided to go clean up the makeshift bed that was a little more than a blanket and a pillow on the floor. To their absolute shock and surprise the troll was still there. Only the troll wasn't a troll at all, it was a six year old girl with down syndrome! And that's not even the craziest part. They called the police who came and picked the girl up informing Owen and Mark that the girl had been lost in the woods for a couple days. (See how the two drugged-up unwitting kidnappers just turned into heroes, nice.) And yes it gets better, the guys received a $50,000 reward that had been posted upon her disappearance for anyone who could find her.

Moral of the story: Don’t make me tell you, you already know.

Confucius Says:

Confucius say, "A constipated man does not give a crap."
Confucius say, "Man who walk through airport turnstile sideways going to Bangkok."
Confucius say, "Foolish man give wife grand piano, wise man give wife upright organ."
Confucius say, "Man with hand in pocket is feeling cocky all day."
Confucius say, "Man with tool in woman's mouth is not necessarily a dentist."
Confucius say, "Man who drops watch in toliet, bound to have shitty time."
Confucius say, "Man who run in front of car, get tired. Man who run behind car, get exhausted."
Confucius say, "Secretary not permanent fixture until screwed on top of desk."
Confucius say, "Man who sit on toilet is high on pot."

And my favorite:
Confucius say, "Man who go to bed with itchy butt wake up with stinky finger."

I have no clue why I find the last one so funny. Maybe because it's has happened to me? But then again I sometimes am accused of farting then smelling it. Who knows?

I know one thing is certain. Mine doesnt stink

7 Greatest Polish inventions

I have nothing against polish people so this does not in anyway make me wrong.
I just remember these from grade school...

1. Submarine with screen doors
2. A book on how to Read
3. A waterproof towel
4. Glow-in-the-Dark sunglasses
5. A dictionary with an index
6. Helicopter with ejection seats.
7. Solar powered flashlight. (this one is for real)

Please subscribe -- I am hard up -- And lame too

Ok so just how lame and I? Well I am asking all of you. (that is probably not many) to subscribe to the email update feature I added to my blog. It lets you get an email notification in your inbox when I update my blog. It is totally safe and your info will not be given away.

The service has been around for a while and I have been using it for some time now. Then like a bolt of lighting it hit me. Why don't I add it to my site(s)

Either use the 2nd box below my profile or just use this link:
http://www.changedetection.com/detect.html

Right on

We did not vote for him

I'm sorry, but this is amusing...

Top 10 reasons to procrastinate

Top 10 reasons to procrastinate...

1.