So if I don't give any money to them, why should I give any to you?

A local United Way office realized that the organization had never received a donation from the town's most successful lawyer. The person in charge of contributions called him to persuade him to contribute.

"Our research shows that out of a yearly income of at least $700,000, you give not a penny to charity. Wouldn't you like to give back to the community in some way?"

The lawyer mulled this over for a moment and replied, "First, did your research also show that my mother is dying after a long illness, and has medical bills that are several times her annual income?"

Embarrassed, the United Way rep mumbled, "Um ... no."

The lawyer interrupts, "or that my brother, a disabled veteran, is blind and confined to a wheelchair?"

The stricken United Way rep began to stammer out an apology, but was interrupted again.

"or that my sister's husband died in a traffic accident," the lawyer's voice rising in indignation, "leaving her penniless with three children?!"

The humiliated United Way rep, completely beaten, said simply, "I had no idea..."

On a roll, the lawyer cut him off once again, "So if I don't give any money to them, why should I give any to you?"

Can You Please Page Mike Hunt

Ok the name says it all. No I don't actually know a person named Mike Hunt. However, when I was a young buck (wait I still am - at least I like to think so...) I used to work in a grocery store. I won't share the store name...

Anyway we had this manager that was an front end airhead jerk manager. What we used to do was go out to the pay phone out front and call the store and say...

"hello, my name is josh hunt and my father should be there in the store shopping. Can you please page him for me? It is sort of an emergency. You see my mother told me to call. She's paraplegic and can't use the phone. She told me to call and have him pick up some pigs feet. So can you please page Mike Hunt for me? It's important, I don't want to get in trouble. I will be waiting right here... "

After they say "why sure, I can do that" Which they always do by the way. We set the phone down then go inside and listen.

They always fall for it... Yes I know it's childish but when your 16 - 17 it is pretty damn funny. Especially in a grocery store on the PA system.