The half of it.

So trying to understand why some people can just write you out of your life with such ease?

How can somebody just do that to somebody? My problem is the women I was seeing for 3 years. Every bit of communication from her has been so impersonal with me and just wrong.

How can somebody forget about the good times and the fun times? How can somebody just pretend they didn't happen? It really confuses me and fills me with a feeling of uselessness to the entire thing.

Like it meant nothing. Like there was nothing ever really important that happened. When in reality so much happened. So many things changed for the best for the both of us or so I thought.

Why in the world is this so easy for one person and not another? Maybe its just me and the value I put on relationships. How at first I do not commit but then later on commit but only to find out that the other person does not want my commitment.

We talked about having a child together. We talked openly about marriage. We talked about buying a home together. Why in the world would somebody just feel that way before. Then decide that that is not what they want with the other person. Why does this happen to me?

Oh no its not me is it? Or was it her. I have no clue anymore. I tried and tried. She just couldn't get it I guess. She always said that relationships should not be this much work. But the truth is that any quality relationship is a lot of work. She is just missing that now. Perhaps I missed that at first when she was feeling what I am not feeling? Maybe in the beginning I was not giving much effort and she was?

That is the half of it. I am sure that that is probably the most of it.

It just sucks that she does not care about me anymore. I feel like if i was dead it wouldn't even phase her. After all we have been through. After all I have accepted about her with out judgment. After everything! I was just that easy to set aside and become a lampshade.

I think she is going to seriously regret not trying. I asked for counseling for the both of us and she said no, she said that I was the one who needed counseling first. She said NO. I asked many different people about that and they all had the same answer.

1. She sees no reason to accept any responsibility for anything that has happened or gone wrong. And she is scared that some fault will be found in her for this also because she knows she has done wrong also but will not admit it because of pride. In short, she would be exposed for her roll in things going wrong.

That is the general answer summed up from different people. I have no reason to make that up. I am sure that those who read this may even think the same thing. If you think that is not the answer then please comment and tell me more possible reasons why. I am open to suggestions. In fact, I wonder how many people agree or disagree on that one.

I am not a perfect person. I will be the first to admit that. I was scared of commitment once with her and I now know she is with me now. I got over my fear, and she could too if she could just let her guard down again. We could get past this together. I suppose that is why I feel so worthless to her right now. She wont even ponder the thought of her and I being worth anything more than history.

She really has no idea the pain inside I feel for all of this. If she would just open up to me and let me know what the real issue is. What the real problem is. If she doesn't want children, then why can't she just tell me that. I would understand. I have accepted so many other things without judgment or fear, why would it bother me.

I care for her so much. I have so many things to be thankful for because of her belief in me. She gave me so much strength to be better for us. Now my success I am having she does not want to be a part of. It is as if she just does not feel worthy of it. But fact is that she is. She should sulk in the glory of the her and I becoming more than what we were from the beginning.

I am falling into a state of depression again. One that will take me a while to get out of, again... I just miss her so much. I would accept anything she offered me. If it is something she does not want or does want, I would do the very best I could to get to that place for her.

I miss her.

Calm Tom & Babbeling Brook

Who are these people?

Well calm Tom is a normal guy that does not really say much. babbling Brook is a open and very expressive person that can just talk and talk and talk about anything openly when she feels comfortable with a calm Tom.

calm Tom and babbling Brook meet one day and find that they connect very well. Babbling Brook can just talk and talk and calm Tom enjoys how smart and full of information babbling Brook is. Babbling Brook feels like she has found such a great person because calm Tom listens so intently seeing all the situations she has been through in life and enjoys how open she is with him about it all.

One day 3 years later, calm Tom wakes up and realises that babbling Brook knows nothing about calm Tom because everything has been about her and all she talked about was about her. Feeling like there is no way to communicate or understand how to express calm Tom's self. He feels trapped and finds that he likes nothing about babbling Brook. I mean all she does is talk and talk and talk.

If calm Tom would only see that babbling Brook's way of communicating is verbally and not through silence by means of small jesters much like calm Tom does. The communication between them would be more understood for the both of them.

See, it is a 2 sided coin. Both Tom and Brook need to realize that the language of love they are both speaking is not the same. Doesn't it sound logical for the both of them now to try to make an effort to learn how to communicate with each other in the special way they express them selves? Tom could make an effort to speak more freely and openly and Brook could learn to listen to Tom instead of making every conversation related to her.

Long story short.
Try to understand how your other half is communicating to you. Either they say nothing or they say everything. Saying nothing does not mean they are not saying anything at all. And saying everything does not mean they are not concerned about you.

It is just the many different ways we communicate with one another.